The last post was May 1st, 2013- wow, has it been that long?
I wouldn’t say that the urge to write was not there in the last three years but life definitely has kept me really busy and occupied. In retrospect, much has changed and developed. I am now married with the one I truly love, who showed me the stars and songs of the soul, and have dedicated my work life in saving the planet. It does sound lovely putting it that way but boy, has the journey been a wild one.
With half of my body sore, unable to fully operate optimally just yet, I return to floweret. This time, with a whole new perspective to write. Notes to my baby Amber, whom I love and cherish, more than anything in the world.
I wouldn’t like to let chance dictate what life would’ve been like if I had chose to separate and allow time and chance to decide our fate.
If both are willing, why should I let us down?
I’m writing this down lest doubt gets the better of me.
I’ve not been this far from home, from my family, from my loved ones for more than a week or two. Reaching home was always a maximum of about an hour and a half drive away – this time it’s many nautical miles. And along this journey, through the urban forest, I sometimes wonder the significance of it all – of my pursuit, of this place, of the future.
People here walk fast, rushes as they board and alight the trains, they consume as fast as they earn their wages. Boarding the train and watching them, it all seems like each living body is occupied by his own realm of reality shaped in the minds as the scene outside passes by like moving pictures. Chain of thoughts only abruptly shaken when the train stops.
I never truly liked being surrounded by tall buildings, skyscrapers, bright neon lights, glaring commercials and advertisements – never liked being around them too long. I guess it is a lot better here compared to some other countries- least big trees and gardens are found amidst the nearly organised buildings and busy roads.
I now work as an intern in a big garden where good trees are grown and managed, ponds are filled with koi and many scientific research are made. Let me find the inner peace through this in this one big concrete jungle.
A lot of times when I wish things had been different, I’m glad now that they weren’t. It’s been a delicate war, testing the present with doubts drawn from history past. One should not keep hoping that the present would always yield that comfortable side of the past and also the excitement of the unknown. But I know, that, is achievable.
Many times assurances have been made to solidify this bond and yet why the question? Many times promises have been made and yet why the troubled heart?
Because like that song you’ve heard many times before – that one where I sometimes sing along, we hold the torches and it’s us who burn the bridge that light our way.