Floweret.wordpress.com

210. The last time.

floweret — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 23:36:42 +0000

When was the last time I breathe? Wow. This breath I’m taking. Isn’t it something new? -____-”

So I finally noticed that car number plates here now start with three letters. I also realised that my Quisqualis hasn’t been blooming! It also hit me that I have two effin weeks left till my big big uberly big exam. I know I know. I should start revising! So who’s with me?!!!!

So I have been spending most of my time in the musuem. Looking at bones and ossified body parts. I don’t really mind since I learnt quite a deal from them but I don’t like the other things that stop me from doing that – like reports and practicals. Oh, did I tell you how we were all immuned to the odour of dead dissected rat? *grins* disgusting ey? *sniffs and shed a tear* it was beautiful.No, the body parts of the rat was beautiful – killing rats was better. haha. I didn’t say that. o.O O.o

I should be heading to campus in less than half an hour. COFFEE PLEASE~!

I think the name Brooke White is pretty.

209. FOR…WARD!

floweret — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 23:51:53 +0000

Recently I have been slacking. I have lost my drive again. Actually, to be more correct I am not sure what exactly I am up to. *gulps* I know I cannot slack NOW…anytime but just not NOW… I should not be for the next one month plus. This unreadiness and unpreparedness is getting on my nerves and I think it sort of affected the people close to me… not healthy lah. So I tried getting rid of all this negativity. I just can’t bloody stand such pessimism that I’m feeding myself with. So so so. I watched Tuesdays with Morrie.

Sighs*

I cried. haha. For the fifth time? reading the book and watching the movie. Anyway, after last night’s movie and sleep…it’s *BARKS* FOR….WARD! =D It’s moving ON…moving FORWARD now.

On a much positive note, I got quoted in Brunei Times! haha.

We were tree planting! I really hope the trees do manage to grow healthily!

What’s next on the list? BEACH CLEAN UP! Sunday!! Pantai Jerudong! (more info)

*breathe*

208. And so I’m 21.

floweret — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 10:21:49 +0000

I should at least write something here now that I’ve turned 21. haha. But unfortunately, I haven’t much to share. No pictures whatsoever of balloons or cakes or group photos with big smiles and such. None like those. I, however, have spent the 20th of October with a two hour lecture on animal bones and a felt-like endless practical on microscopy – plant cells (it was 4 hours really). When all that was done, it was already 6pm at night. For a person who usually sleeps at 9pm… nothing much can be done or be celebrated in that what…three hours before I shut me eyes and call it a day? It was very uneventful and rather pitiful now that I have jot these down. However… however… there was a rather unexpected surprise.

After my practical which ended at 6pm – I was all tired and moody by then, I rushed back home to get myself a good bath and have planned to eat out. I had been craving for fettucine cabonara! So anyway, after getting ready and combed my hair real nice (well, to think about it now…there wasn’t anything particularly nice about my hair actually.. =/) darling came and picked me up. I wasn’t expecting anything since he did already buy me a really nice new phone as my early birthday gift… but when I entered the car, I was presented with a bouquet of roses and lilies! *grins real wide with colgate-d shining teeth* That practically made by day! night! today!

I guess that’s enough to bring a big smile on my face on the long tiring 20th of October. Like most of you, we agree being 21 is one big thing but the feeling of being 21… dang, I ain’t feeling it yet. lol. You 21? How did your birthday go?

I haven’t been occupying myself with enough revision – it was work, uni, reports, work, beabummer, work, reports, uni, reports, beabummer. IT AIN’T PROGRESS I’M TELLIN YA! =(

I have only three weeks to go before finals. As to how I am going to be ready, I have yet to find out. GAH! I’ll strive. *takes in a deep breath and let it go loudly* again.

You ready?

207. A reflection.

floweret — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 16:20:02 +0000

I’m not sure whether you have come across this situation or rather experienced this sort of awkwardness that you can’t really explain. It’s that time when you are surrounded by the type of people you might regard as your “equal” only to find out that they aren’t really there to support you. So you have that feeling of uncertainty, which part of them that you “belong” to. Of course,in the end, you’d find out that you don’t belong to any.

Some friends tag along because they know you’re all-that and you could help them in whatever they are not good at. Some friends tag along because you are simply just so easy to be with. Some friends come and go bidding a hi and bye along the way. Some friends are just too far and don’t speak to you but when you do meet them again, there are simply loads to talk about. Some friends carry with them a boundary where you only get to know them whatever they want you to know – nothing else. But most friends just simply don’t understand. And it’s the friend that understands you the most the hardest to find, keep and lose.

I’d say I never wanted to be compared with them. I might portray that attitude at times – to beat the shit out of everyone in whatever they do so I can be the top at everything – utterly selfish. But if I were to tell you that all I have ever wanted and done was and would always be to have myself better than myself that existed yesterday and the days before, would you get it?

So, I give 100% out there – to whoever and whatever I encounter. You’d see my best and you’d like it. You’d want to “hang out” with me. But as I give 70% or 50% or less % of my attention to you, you’d start to wonder why and start to conjure all sort of mind-boggling reasons for my…well, behaviour. Proves again, you don’t understand.

So I helped because I know how and what to do. We’d be friends because you know I’m the key. But when I don’t have the answers but you do, you’d pretend that you don’t know and put on a face, slowly and persuasively convincing me that I’m alone in this. Hm.

It’s a reflection that I’m seeing now – that in the end it’s really up to me. There’s no you in this because every you that exist has the potential to make me not me. Every good intention has to be covered with a slight malice or at least a boundary.

I’ve found my best friend though – the one that is hard to find, keep and lose. I only realise it was easy to find her. She was there all along. She’s standing in front of me through that mirrored glass – the one easy to keep and easy to also lose.

And so she wrote this not very long ago.

206. When time is lost to its meaning

floweret — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 09:40:35 +0000

Time present and time past
Are both perhaps present in time future,
And time future contained in time past.
If all time is eternally present
All time is unredeemable.
What might have been is an abstraction
Remaining a perpetual possibility
Only in a world of speculation.
What might have been and what has been
Point to one end, which is always present.

~ T.S. Eliot

I haven’t been very active here – that I know. I have busied myself gardening, trying new food, and have spent most of the hours tutoring and finishing my assignments. THOSE alone are enough to have me all too tired and yes, have made me call it a night everynight before 10pm. I have sent my greetings to some friends but I shall extend my greeting to whoever is reading this right now,

To all my muslim viewers and friends,

Salam Aidilfitri! Have a selamat hari raya to you and your family! It is a blessing to be able to celebrate this occasion again and be here to be part of the whole celebrative community! Maaf Zahir Batin!!

205. When time is as precious as preciousness.

floweret — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 01:10:11 +0000

Right. So the past week revolved around trying to finish practical reports that never seem like they would be done. On top of that, I was tutoring three times per week and barely managed to get some workout at the gym. Bummer. Nevertheless, last week was a pleasant week. One of seven days, I spent less than $40 at Villa Mauri to celebrate a pre-birthday-day with darling and his cousins. He was literally surprised when the waiters and waitresses came in with a dark and white chocolate truffle cake. I need toget some pictures from Cat! It was enjoyable.

And not very long after that day, I spent a few hours of the evening celebrating one of the oldest and wisest professor I know, Dr.C. I was touched to see and know how many students despite his aggressive and strict demeanour happily and willingly organise a birthday party for him. The MAN has turned 70 indeed! It’s an achievement to turn 70! and it’s more of an achievement to look so 25! haha. =)

But I guess, most of the past week focused more on plant phylo and gastropods and bivalves and polychate worms. SIGH! I find them absolutely interesting, no sarcasm mind you but I don’t like it how we are ASSESSED on them when all I want to do is ENJOY them. hehe. like no reports but just reading and finding out what part does what and which appendage grab food and stufflikethatbah! =D

Speaking of which, I need to finish that report!

204. Keep running.

floweret — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 13:26:19 +0000

The clock is ticking, and lately it has been ticking fast. Before I could stop and take one deep breath, the lights have turned green and I’d find myself running again, taking little breaths instead. I keep running and running, things around once seem like pictures so clear now appear a blur. Now, I’ve reached a cross-road, a point where a choice has to be made. But before I reach out my leg to step onto a new path, I asked myself what I have experienced before this.

It then hits me hard.

All I could remember are a few bits and pieces of everything – like a blur. I tried recalling- names and dates, important events and notices and all I could conjure in my mind are vague details. I shook my head and muttered, you’ve got to be joking…

I then realised how much I wanted to get to the crossroad, for it is a point on the route-to-take to get me where I wanted to go but I’ve forgotten to notice and treasure the gems laid along the path.

And so she stopped talking.

And since you’ve decided on which path to take, don’t rush and take your time for it’s not where we want to go or how fast you get there that makes you a winner, or any better than anyone else… it’s what you have gone through to get to that point that defines you.

She stood up, smiled and walked away.

203. Much indeed.

floweret — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 08:37:18 +0000

If you have tuned in to pilihan 95.9 last night, you must’ve heard me. Yeah, I’m equally surprised. I was invited to the studio by DJ Izan during the forum I went to and have happily invited Ben to come along since he’s a hard-core pilihan fan! It was a blast!

The theme of the night centered around Innerchild, attitude, relationships, and above all, music! I have never been inside the studio thus last night’s first impression was how space-ous it was and slowly I realised how no script is really needed to interact with the listeners!

I was very excited the whole night and despite the studio being so cold, I was partly sweating! I couldn’t believe some of my friends called in… the experience was just different. Very unique. Thanks you guys!…for tuning in!

But I must say, I wouldn’t have been able to be there if Billah did not put my name into the forum list! I wouldn’t be given such an opportunity! So, I do have to thank Billah for this, and also Ben for accepting the invitation. It’s definitely one of those rare opportunities!

The past few days have been interesting. Much indeed. I was able to be in a conference filled with so many important guests and listen to their opinions and share their perspectives to be surprised by one of the best DJs, DJ Izan. In addition to that I managed to also talk briefly with some people I have not seen for a long time! It’s always nice to meet coincidently with people whom you least expect to see!

But I must say, days before these moments, I along with my huge classmates have been working very very hard and for long hours too in practicals! Something we need to do to get good grades. So far, hardest was genetics.

I was trying my best to macerate the specimen only to find the cells not being what I want them to be. haha. We were supposed to see some mitosis happening. It was constant failure until the first hour and a half past. Since we could keep trying and trying and constantly being assesed, I managed to finally.. to finally… get this one when clock showed the last half an hour to lunch break.

Cool, yes? haha. You should’ve seen Tiqah’s! Her slide was fanstastic!!! But ah well, no point going on when you can’t see it. =/

This coming Monday would be my first day volunteering in BARC. I’m already quite excited!! The only thought that makes me so tired now would be the amount of practical reports I need to finish! I’m overdosed with reports! And you know… overdose of anything is unhealthy. ;D haha. I should tell my lecturers that.

Selamat berpuasa you guys!!!

202. Making a change. A difference.

floweret — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 15:36:00 +0000

I was at the National Environmental Conference yesterday with Billah, Husrin and Tiqah. The conference centered its attention towards trying to develop Brunei with “green” being one of its criteria. Brunei Darussalam is well known, publicly and worldwide – not for its oil and gas only but also for its richness in biodiversity and the pristine greenery that still exist; with some parts of it, minimal to human impact.

But that wasn’t highlighted at the conference. There were talks about Smoke Haze, a presentation given by Dr.Rajasekhar Balsubramanian from NUS, Singapore and also about Waste Management System by Dr Jerry Leonard from Canada. Excellent speeches I must say but personally, I could not see how such speeches are anywhere fruitful if specific questions are unasked and unanswered. For instance, there are evidences to show that some systems do work in other countries but are we adopting their techniques to our country without considering some rather important aspect like culture and customary routine? and if we do, are we going to keep negotiating about what’s best without actually starting a project? Perhaps I’m being too critical without taking everything into consideration but the whole picture so far shows more initiatives are taking place without actual progress.

Now, because we know how important it is to keep a country clean and more important to always remember to REUSE, REDUCE, RECYCLE and after listening to the speakers yesterday, we must also RECOVER and to have RESPONSIBILITY. No, no more 3Rs, it’s 5 Rs now! But what is the point to have everything planned out but no support from the majority? To make a difference, oh one can indeed make a difference but it takes every individual to make a real change, a real significant change!

Trust me, you don’t need to be Einstein to know how to reuse plastics, reduce electricity consumption when not needed and to recycle unwanted goods. Yes, I do mean goods because someone’s waste is another’s raw-material! Indeed, such a statement can only be made after hearing Ms Anita Roper from Australia that gave a talk on “How Green Business can be Good Business”. In pure honesty, there were alot of questions, relevant to private and government sectors whom would like to start going green but they just don’t know where to start. Thus, addressing their queries aloud. At the end of the discussion, the main point drawn was basically for individuals, companies, private and government sectors to take the risk on implementing a well-drawn up plan.

The last presentation was on “How BSB can be a Sustainable City – Ideas and Suggestions”, presented by Dr Djoko Prihanto. He gave a very well drawn up presentation with many technical aspects of town planning – what should be done and so forth. I was however very disappointed when “sustainability” was not highlighted in the presentation. Well, I guess it’s more correct to say that emphasis on sustainability did not touch close to what I thought of sustainability.

Sustainability is basically to allow us, this generation of homo sapiens to consume as much as not to impede the next generation from having what we currently have. We cannot consume more than we need for that is not sustainable. We cannot destroy if we don’t need to destroy for if such is done for the sake of development then such a development is ruthlessly unfruitful. Why? Because a balance is not achieved. A balance is needed to be achieved from all aspects of economy, social and environment before true development takes place.

This then tempted me to raise a question- which I should have asked only did not manage to yesterday. If an area is found to have endangered species (and I do mean being endangered worldwide), would you strip that area for development? Would that be sustainable? What would you suggest?

Yesterday’s conference allowed me to meet with many fantastic people and speakers. It’s one of those types that make you really think and would really like to make a difference!

Shouted too at Brudirect [215hits @ August30th].

201. Lethargic.

floweret — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 14:14:17 +0000

Especially today. My day started early, first sending off my sisters to school around 6am, nothing really interesting there – something I shan’t dictate but what is interesting and also utterly tiring was how I’ve spent 8am (that’s when class starts) to 12pm on one practical, then RIGHT after that, rushed myself to a math class, then as it ends at precisely 2pm, I have another practical which runs till 5pm. No, no lunch- and no good breaks in between. I’m sure some others might have hectic-ier schedule, mine today however could be considered as one of the many firsts that made me so breathlessly tired! Thus, I shall at least write a note about it. I haven’t been THIS busy since two years ago. haha.

Anyway, in between the usual hectic schedule, I managed to find a slot to watch G.I.Joe with Sen, which was brilliant I must say!, and managed to attend a seminar which was “rather” compulsory – half of us didn’t turn up. Seminar went well – I’ve learnt that an ant’s body part does include a term called petiole (like the one inplants! haha).

I’m not sure whether I have talked about this anywhere in my previous blogs before (I doubt I have) but I did apply a position at BARC as a volunteer during the end of my holidays. Amidst the busy checking and drawing, drawing and checking under the microscope of Echinodermata and some Annelida, I’ve got a call! I’m offered three slots to which I have to choose one at the moment – so I have chosen Medicinal Plants! I should be starting soon although this idea might just probably make my already busy schedule into a more hectic one. This is not good at all.

Oh well! It’s all about taking one step at a time then! yes? =)

When make up covers your true face texture. Like when your clothes cover your identity. So when your true face texture is seen, it’d be regarded you’re someone else, like when you show your true identity that doesn’t reflect what you wear. Git-it? lol.